The Rich Coast
The airport coffee shop—a long, thin room with a garishly bright red tile floor and beige, nondescript wallpaper rising above the wood paneling—was separated from the bar by a rounded wooden partition of staggered boards. I was studying the random patterns of the roughhewn slats when Jim brought me a cup of strong coffee and toast grilled in butter. As we waited to board what would be my last flight from Costa Rica to the U.S., a constant flow of camaraderie enveloped us—the travelers awaiting their chance to wander out of the country with a nonchalance bordering on disdain in spite of the fact that they were obviously determined to go elsewhere.
Rick and Christy were still kidding Jim about an episode that had taken place at the San Jose McDonald’s drive-through the evening before, causing his face to go as red as the floor and a nervous chuckle to slide from his throat. We had wanted French Fries after weeks of rice and beans, and since Jim was in the driver’s seat, he was the one who had to place the order. He stared at the menu board with its sunken speaker and no matter how many times we coached him, he couldn’t wrap his tongue around a large order of French Fries in Spanish. After a very pregnant silence, we resorted to shouting papas fritas grande in unison in the hopes that the person receiving the order would hear us. When it became obvious that it wasn’t working, Jim held his hand up for us to be quiet and shouted with great bravado papas fritas Gandhi. This sent us into throes of laughter as we thought of skinny little fries with bald heads. It’s one of the stories that would be repeated often as our volunteers came together to talk about their times in Costa Rica.
It seemed an excruciatingly long wait before we were ready to board the plane and take off. Once TACA Airlines finally whisked us away, we climbed above misty mountains, the clouds resting peacefully as they clung to the volcano Irazu’s textured slopes. I thought about how we’d made so many memories in the lush country, one of the funniest of which was our first day of the trip that our flight home was bringing to a close. Jim and I had been walking around San Jose when we noticed a man following us for an alarmingly long time. Jim had finally worked up the nerve to ask him why and he answered, in broken English, that he wanted his autograph. “Why?” Jim asked. “You Sean Connery!” the man had replied, grinning from ear to ear. “No,” Jim said, “I’m not.” The fellow simply wouldn’t believe him no matter how many times he said it wasn’t true and he continued to doggedly follow us until I convinced Jim to acquiesce because the guy was giving me the creeps. The piece of paper the man had been waving in our direction every time we had looked his way was finally signed with Jim’s own signature but that hadn’t mattered to the sincerely excited man, who held the scrap of paper in the air as if he had just received a priceless treasure as he walked away from us!
The silliest things had always come about because the people were so genuine, I thought as I took a long last look at the fading peaks below. I said goodbye to the rich coast that had held such a paradoxical mix of experiences for me, thinking to myself, “Emma, how could I forget you or anyone else here?” I realized I’d mouthed her name aloud when my warm breath fogged the portal-shaped window, which had grown frigid as we climbed higher, and we sliced into a cloud that further obscured the land below. I leaned back in my seat, wrestling with a mixture of relief and grief, as I wondered, Was this all there would be of my relationship with Costa Rica and its gentle people?
The question faded only slightly once I was back at home, a two-week respite before traveling west to South Dakota. During the rare down-time we visited a development called Dunaway, a getaway for the area’s elite with wooded lots large enough that cabins could be tucked into the middle of lush foliage for privacy. It was in its early stages of being carved from the Tennessee hills and Jim was purchasing a sequestered parcel of land on which we would build a cabin. The seclusion was a must for the wealthy determined to have safe havens when they attempted to escape from their “lives”—a fact that I found ironic because “they” always took their lives with them (I suppose this is where I should own it and say “we” because I was among them at this point in my life)! There was a beautiful lake on the property and I sat in a canoe one afternoon, filling myself with the comforting silence broken only by the intermittent buzzing of cicadas and the occasional click of dragonfly wings.
I was so steeped in the deep dampness of the abundant setting that I was able to quiet my mind for the first time in months. As my eyes followed the shoreline hemmed in cattails, a thought took hold of me so forcefully that it was as if some unseen force had grabbed me and shook me hard. My own voice, buried deep inside me, whispered, “You don’t have to wrestle with your spirituality; you don’t have to worry that you are at odds with religion—there is room for your way of being. Yes, there is much to know for certain, but you have begun your search for your meaning and that is all you need to know for now.”
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Drowsy Weather
I had imagined that I would spend my hours during our final trip putting thoughts like this on paper, but I was unable to translate anything into a coherent narrative because Jim had put me to work making stained glass windows for the church and the chaos of being worried that I wouldn’t finish them—anxiety that had me up at 4:30 a.m. and on the site straight through until 7p.m. each day for over a week—had sapped my concentration. I’d finally taken a day off and was sitting in Restaurante Carucy in the center of Siquirres—a welcome relief after days of being on my feet as I bent over a makeshift table cutting glass and soldering lead. Feeling unfettered for the moment, I let my vision sift through the untold number of faded colors and shrunken patterns of worn cotton clothing parading around town on the backs, thighs, buttocks and chests of its boisterous residents. Disco Evan, across the street, was empty after a weekend of the flashing pin lights and blaring music it employed to draw night owls away from the sticky inky air into the more claustrophobic moisture of sweat dripping from bodies that writhed in unison.
I retreated to our rented house in the hopes that I could find some relief from the furnace of midday but there was not one inch of the interiors that offered anything resembling a respite. I sat and watched the movement of the heat radiating from the tin roof of the house next door, a frenzied swirling haze that danced its way toward me, not in the least threatened by the snippet of breeze brushing across my face. I felt the swelter approach and it unapologetically took my shoulders in its grasp as I willed myself to remain still and let it surround me—any movement, after all, would simply have made its embrace far more intense. It passed and I began to breathe again while silently awaiting the next onslaught. What a way to spend an afternoon! I thought, sweat dripping from the tip of my nose onto the book I was trying to read.
I finally gave up as salty moisture seeped into my eyes and blurred my vision. I let my mind wander over the events of the day before when the church we’d built had been dedicated. Jim and I had been given a plaque with our names on it—the misspelling of our last name somewhat comical, and representative of the lack of detail that made Costa Rica so endearing at times and maddening at others. Jim’s emotions got the best of him when he tried to speak, and he’d told me afterwards that he was embarrassed because big, strong guys weren’t supposed to cry. Before all was said and done, he had almost everyone in the Chattanooga contingent in tears. Emma King had asked us to sign her prayer book when the service had come to a close and as I handed it back to her, she patted my hand as she said, “Please don’t forget me.”
As tough as moments like those had been for me, they had been especially emotional for Jim, as he felt he was closing a chapter of his life, one that had represented the beginnings of a dream he’d held since he’d been a little boy. The group of volunteers we had hosted had become completely enamored with the people in the small town, and it was always interesting to me to see how some groups bonded with the locals while others did not. It often depended upon the women who were with us. One of our volunteers, Prestine, had drawn the children in and welcomed their overwhelming affection with joy—Estevan, Manuel, Carol, Jessica, and the others we’d come to know so well were seemingly starved for her attention and not at all shy about demanding it. Her hands were full the entire time she was on the job site each day, and it was obvious that she was thrilled about it.
I had managed to complete the stained glass windows but we had not been able to install them because the government had decided to shut off the electricity in Pocora during our last day there. Jim said he wouldn’t likely make it back to put them in place until the end of the year so we would have to store them in the Diocesan office in San Jose. This meant that Rick and Christy—two of our volunteers—and I ferried them on our laps while Jim drove the undulant roads to the capital. We had to hold the colorful panels upright because the truck bounced so forcefully they would have shattered had they been placed flat in the bed. Balancing them was a tedious task given the amount of movement the curves threw at the small truck as we made our way through the monster mountain range between the Caribbean Coast and San Jose. I paid close attention to the terrain as we slid along, knowing it would likely be my last time to experience the dusky wetness that birthed such lushness along the familiar ribbon of pavement.
It was near twilight when we reached the highest altitude of our journey, the atmosphere made uncommonly bleak by the rainy weather. Trees sprouting orchids dangled them like jewels they were wearing to the opera or like tiny escape ropes lowered from toy helicopters, the blooms deciding they had had enough of their woody perches for the time being. Having made the trip so many times, I recognized the progression from lower elevation foliage to high mountain vegetation, the density of varied hues of green growing from lush to cloying. As we reached the abdomen of the range, giant bulges jutted from towering peaks and one particular type of tree that had always fascinated me came into view. It seemed fragile like a giant maidenhair fern, its limbs covered in clusters of delicate leaves that fanned out like ostrich plumes arranged symmetrically in a vase. They arced skyward then dipped their tips back toward the ground, making me wonder if I’d ever see foliage as abundant again.
We drove through clouds for miles—the soupiness of the air bathing the sleep-filled world in dankness. Drowsy weather, I thought, which made the mountains yawn into their caverns and nestle into their deep valleys for a good night’s sleep. Dark was wrapped fully around us as we drove away from the last tall slope and the city of San Jose came into view, its lights strung like sparkling dewdrops along the maze of a spider’s web that had been spun throughout the valley and up the opposite hillsides.
If you are new to my blog and you'd like to start at the beginning, here's the link to the first post. Reading the "Start Here" sidebar on the homepage gives you the earliest information. If you’ve been following along for a while, you may have noticed I’m not posting as regularly as I have in the past. I’ve launched a new social media consultancy, adroyt, so the mainstay of my energy is going toward building the business as beautifully as we can. I will still be posting here but not likely with great regularity and I would like to express my deepest gratitude for your continued interest in this blog, which has meant and still means a great deal to me.
